Existence

Another late night. Once again ended up hitting the sack late. I am worried about survival. And it’s only Monday. How am I gonna stay active the remainder of the week? One option was sleep late into the morning and reach office late. But then the same rigmarole would be repeated this night and the next. And you can’t reach office late everyday of the week.

Ok, you had a good time with friends. But the ‘feel good’ factor seems to disappear the moment you are on your own. Bad, really bad. Since I enjoy my own company most. The time I spent reading or relaxing and just enjoying the boredom of having nothing to do or worry about has now been replaced by turning shrink cum counselor for people who just can’t seem to understand your need to be on your own.

And all you do is talk about trivial rubbish—love, hate, women, work and oh such banalities. Reiterating the same old arguments over and over again. Never arriving at any conclusions. Not that that would have made any impact on the way this world functions or looks at life in general. Just a whole lot of wasted energy and time.

But by now one is so habituated to the stupid routine that any free time on your hands makes you restless. You are ready to forego sleep, but you need to have your daily dose of stupid trivialities. Else the withdrawal symptoms get too much to bear. I guess even the friends am talking about are stuck in a similar rut.

The only difference may be that I hate it at the end of the day. I would rather spend that time sleeping or clear the backlog of books piling up on my shelf. But the mundane existence that we lead has left us with no energy to do even a simple activity like reading. We would rather not think at all. Even the weekend is spent watching dumb mindless shows on television. So many chores piled up for the weekend—since you don’t get the time to get to it on a weekday—end up being postponed for the following week. And eventually it never happens. As far as the rest of the world is concerned you are leading such a grand life.

Things, which you call entertainment, only leave you emptier at the end of it all. What is the purpose of such a dull monotonous existence?