Terror in Mumbai

Heads have begun rolling following the Congress Working Committee meeting over the weekend. Shivraj Patil has quit – the first political fallout of the Mumbai terror attacks. And here in Maharashtra R.R. Patil has followed suit – following the dictates of his conscience it seems! I can’t figure out how a dumb idiot like him ever managed to make it to the post of State Home Minister. Would anyone with even an iota of sense make a comment like the one he made last week? Must have been inspired by Shahrukh Khan’s “Bade Bade Deshonmei aisi chotti chotti battein hothi rahathi hai” dialogue in some masala movie some years back. Dumb! Or maybe he is a palpable reflection of the mental faculties of our cabinet ministers. God Forbid!

Well to come back to the point, is quitting or asking the person in charge of a ministry portfolio to move out the way to right wrongs?

What struck me as funny was the fact that when a leader mentioned the words "the Navy's responsibility" defence minister A K Antony immediately offered to quit. When the wisdom of sharing intelligence with the ISI was questioned the foreign minister offered his resignation. Even the PM and the external affairs ministry offered their resignations. All these jokers must have known that the resignations are not likely to be accepted. Secondly, with just some months left for the next general election how much do they stand to lose by resigning now. If they stay in power the media would probably continue talking about their inefficiencies and thus stymie any chances they may have in winning next time round. But by moving out at this stage they can get out of the limelight and salvage the situation. The public memory as they say is after all quite short.

For the party in power it serves as an exercise to minimize the political damage. Just chop a few heads and convey the impression of stringent action being taken. And even here they didn’t have the guts to just ask the home minister to quit outright but had to actually bring it about in a very roundabout manner.

Shouldn’t these guys be forced to make up for their lapses? Shouldn’t they be held accountable? How does this quitting business help anyone? The new minister will probably spend a few months just trying to figure out operational issues before he can get acting. While the guy who should actually be bearing the brunt gets away scot free. I mean you mess up things and then at the last minute when the shit actually hits the ceiling you just move out of the room leaving others to clean up after you. Who wouldn’t mind a job like that! Be a minister for 5 years, enjoy all the perks and not deliver anything. Forget delivering, you actually screw up and get away with it.

These guys should definitely be stripped of their posts but also forced to deliver, clean up the mess. Even if it means putting them on the street. Make them accountable for every single resource under their control during their days in power. And the public should make sure these guys don’t get a single except probably their own during the next election. And if the party high command has any sense they should make sure these guys don’t even get a ticket to contest the elections next time round.

Last Man Standing

Last Sunday morning, at church the pastor made an observation that took me back in time to my college days. Ah the good old days!

Well, not to digress, each August, our college hosts Malhar, an intercollegiate youth fest that is supposed to be a platform for highly talented college students to display their painting or sculpting or eating or other such sundry skills. But the major chunk of the jantha come for the rock shows and music concerts and other such stuff that Malhar is commonly associated with. Malhar hosts (or at least used to host) two personality contests. The main one is the Mr. and Miss Malhar contest which grills the poor sods who participate on various aspects of their (underdeveloped) personality. The other one, which is less complicated and usually more fun (for the audience that is) is basically about quick repartees and cheek. Try as I might, I can’t remember the name of this contest. Old age catching up maybe!

Anyways, that particular year, a visually impaired candidate from Ruia College participated in this contest. I had seen him shine in some other college festivals the previous year and so had a feeling he might just beat all the other hotshot candidates to the prize, which included, I think, a date with Maria Gorretti (Who Maria? Well, we are talking ancient history here, so do your own research). For the Misses’ there was Arbazz Khan (ya I know it was supposed to be a prize. But then I guess a prize is a prize only in the mind of the giver). Well at the end of the day there were three or four male finalists on stage. The one who came up with the cheekiest response to a question posed by Maria would win the crown.

The Question, “If you were the last man on earth and I the last woman, what would you say to win my heart?” The other candidates gave the usual clichés. I can’t recollect any except that they were all quite ho-hum. So won’t attempt repeating them. Then it was the turn of the visually impaired candidate. And his answer left no scope for any of the others. A true classic that will forever resound in my mind, “Maria, the future of the whole world depends on you.”