Terror in Mumbai

Heads have begun rolling following the Congress Working Committee meeting over the weekend. Shivraj Patil has quit – the first political fallout of the Mumbai terror attacks. And here in Maharashtra R.R. Patil has followed suit – following the dictates of his conscience it seems! I can’t figure out how a dumb idiot like him ever managed to make it to the post of State Home Minister. Would anyone with even an iota of sense make a comment like the one he made last week? Must have been inspired by Shahrukh Khan’s “Bade Bade Deshonmei aisi chotti chotti battein hothi rahathi hai” dialogue in some masala movie some years back. Dumb! Or maybe he is a palpable reflection of the mental faculties of our cabinet ministers. God Forbid!

Well to come back to the point, is quitting or asking the person in charge of a ministry portfolio to move out the way to right wrongs?

What struck me as funny was the fact that when a leader mentioned the words "the Navy's responsibility" defence minister A K Antony immediately offered to quit. When the wisdom of sharing intelligence with the ISI was questioned the foreign minister offered his resignation. Even the PM and the external affairs ministry offered their resignations. All these jokers must have known that the resignations are not likely to be accepted. Secondly, with just some months left for the next general election how much do they stand to lose by resigning now. If they stay in power the media would probably continue talking about their inefficiencies and thus stymie any chances they may have in winning next time round. But by moving out at this stage they can get out of the limelight and salvage the situation. The public memory as they say is after all quite short.

For the party in power it serves as an exercise to minimize the political damage. Just chop a few heads and convey the impression of stringent action being taken. And even here they didn’t have the guts to just ask the home minister to quit outright but had to actually bring it about in a very roundabout manner.

Shouldn’t these guys be forced to make up for their lapses? Shouldn’t they be held accountable? How does this quitting business help anyone? The new minister will probably spend a few months just trying to figure out operational issues before he can get acting. While the guy who should actually be bearing the brunt gets away scot free. I mean you mess up things and then at the last minute when the shit actually hits the ceiling you just move out of the room leaving others to clean up after you. Who wouldn’t mind a job like that! Be a minister for 5 years, enjoy all the perks and not deliver anything. Forget delivering, you actually screw up and get away with it.

These guys should definitely be stripped of their posts but also forced to deliver, clean up the mess. Even if it means putting them on the street. Make them accountable for every single resource under their control during their days in power. And the public should make sure these guys don’t get a single except probably their own during the next election. And if the party high command has any sense they should make sure these guys don’t even get a ticket to contest the elections next time round.

Last Man Standing

Last Sunday morning, at church the pastor made an observation that took me back in time to my college days. Ah the good old days!

Well, not to digress, each August, our college hosts Malhar, an intercollegiate youth fest that is supposed to be a platform for highly talented college students to display their painting or sculpting or eating or other such sundry skills. But the major chunk of the jantha come for the rock shows and music concerts and other such stuff that Malhar is commonly associated with. Malhar hosts (or at least used to host) two personality contests. The main one is the Mr. and Miss Malhar contest which grills the poor sods who participate on various aspects of their (underdeveloped) personality. The other one, which is less complicated and usually more fun (for the audience that is) is basically about quick repartees and cheek. Try as I might, I can’t remember the name of this contest. Old age catching up maybe!

Anyways, that particular year, a visually impaired candidate from Ruia College participated in this contest. I had seen him shine in some other college festivals the previous year and so had a feeling he might just beat all the other hotshot candidates to the prize, which included, I think, a date with Maria Gorretti (Who Maria? Well, we are talking ancient history here, so do your own research). For the Misses’ there was Arbazz Khan (ya I know it was supposed to be a prize. But then I guess a prize is a prize only in the mind of the giver). Well at the end of the day there were three or four male finalists on stage. The one who came up with the cheekiest response to a question posed by Maria would win the crown.

The Question, “If you were the last man on earth and I the last woman, what would you say to win my heart?” The other candidates gave the usual clichés. I can’t recollect any except that they were all quite ho-hum. So won’t attempt repeating them. Then it was the turn of the visually impaired candidate. And his answer left no scope for any of the others. A true classic that will forever resound in my mind, “Maria, the future of the whole world depends on you.”

Thunderbird: Down Memory Lane

I just saw an ad promoting Royal Enfield’s new Thunderbird Twinspark. The tagline – Leave Home — took me back to the time I first left home. Ironically, I bought my own Tbird within a few months of this transition. This reminded me of an entry I had made in RE’s networking section called ParkingSpace. Since it’s not going to get any eyeballs there I decided to ferret it out of the RE archives and post it here as a first step towards becoming an active blogger again. Hopefully!

After almost four years of planning and dreaming and reaching levels of absolute madness and frustration I finally became the proud owner of my TBird on Dec 31, 2004.

I had been obsessed with the Bullet since my college days. But then I saw the American classic Easy Rider and realized I actually wanted a thumper cum Cruiser that could handle the highways and off-road locations of India. The Western world had its Harley’s and Triumphs and BSAs. But the combination I was looking for was still a dream in India. Sometime around 2000 I heard about REs plans to launch a cruiser. So I decided to be patient and wait.

The months rolled by but there was no action on this front. Many a times my patience almost ran out and I thought of getting hold of a second hand bullet and modifying it to my likings. Well there was a big hindrance in the form of my parents. And another even bigger one in the form of cash flow. So I convinced myself I didn't quite like the idea of riding a modified bike. And the wait continued.

Then RE introduced the TBird and I knew that very moment this was it. I wanted an Indian thumper cum cruiser. And before my eyes my dream machine was taking shape. However, convincing my folks was an impossibility. The other option was to collect the moolah myself. But going by the measly salary I drew in those days that plan was equivalent to robbing the Mint.

But in Jan 2004 I took a resolution. I will have my Thunderbird before the year ends come what may. But soon it was December and I thought here goes another resolution for a toss. I was ready to kill, shoot, pillage. My brain was doing somersaults morning thru night thru morning, day in day out. I had this huge poster of a Tbird on my soft board. The first thing I did every morning was look at it. Through the day, wallpapers and screensavers of the Bird flashed on my PC. The RE website had become my daily bread.

I finally decided to give up and convince my folks to pitch in. But that was an impossibility especially seeing that I had crashed my existing 100 cc quietly badly the previous year. And not once but twice. The second landed me in bed for more than a week.
So a guy who can't handle a 100 cc how can anyone ever expect him to stay alive and in one piece on a 350 cc! But then a miracle did happen. A company I used to work for earlier had a provident fund system and in the third week of Dec they credited my account quite unexpectedly and send me a mail. Ah 42 beautiful ks!

I immediately ran to the RE dealer from whom I had fleeced zillion test rides of all the models that used to hit his showroom. But then he didn't have one in Black. I almost compromised and took a Red one home. But then sanity prevailed. After all a miracle had already taken place. Now it's just a matter of waiting for a few more days.

I began haranguing the dealer every single day. At least 3-4 times a day. It was 31st and I had given up hope. I thought OK so what I'll begin the new year with a thump. The sudden windfall had restored my sanity to some extent.

But then around lunch time I get a call. Your Bird is here. Off I ran. With dad and bro in tow. Bro because he was as excited. Dad cos he was also excited but he was on express orders from my mom to prevent this disaster from taking place. heh heh

But Dad actually welcomed the new member into the family with a warm prayer. Now the best part. No money in my pocket to buy fuel. Ah!

This time however Dad relented and after stopping in the middle of the road umpteen times and struggling to figure out the kick system I finally brought my bride home.

The very next day we left on our honeymoon. Wandering, wandering we reached the foothills of Matheran. But now that's another story.

The Ground Beneath

When you are traversing other worlds, when all the worlds are within your grasp, when traveling at the speed of thought you go back into the future.
And now you wonder whether that makes sense to anyone who hasn't touched the planes you have. Only he to whom it makes sense is worthy.
You have to fly to see all. To know all.
And I have soared to worlds far above. I have touched the zenith of orgasmic meaninglessness. I have seen what i saw and what you see.
Why do we do it? That is the question.
Well the question exists because we did it.
If the act was not performed, how could it warrant the question. The past that we saw is the reason the future is.
And it's good cos the spirit of celebration is here.
Fly High. Only remember the Ground Beneath.