Last Man Standing

Last Sunday morning, at church the pastor made an observation that took me back in time to my college days. Ah the good old days!

Well, not to digress, each August, our college hosts Malhar, an intercollegiate youth fest that is supposed to be a platform for highly talented college students to display their painting or sculpting or eating or other such sundry skills. But the major chunk of the jantha come for the rock shows and music concerts and other such stuff that Malhar is commonly associated with. Malhar hosts (or at least used to host) two personality contests. The main one is the Mr. and Miss Malhar contest which grills the poor sods who participate on various aspects of their (underdeveloped) personality. The other one, which is less complicated and usually more fun (for the audience that is) is basically about quick repartees and cheek. Try as I might, I can’t remember the name of this contest. Old age catching up maybe!

Anyways, that particular year, a visually impaired candidate from Ruia College participated in this contest. I had seen him shine in some other college festivals the previous year and so had a feeling he might just beat all the other hotshot candidates to the prize, which included, I think, a date with Maria Gorretti (Who Maria? Well, we are talking ancient history here, so do your own research). For the Misses’ there was Arbazz Khan (ya I know it was supposed to be a prize. But then I guess a prize is a prize only in the mind of the giver). Well at the end of the day there were three or four male finalists on stage. The one who came up with the cheekiest response to a question posed by Maria would win the crown.

The Question, “If you were the last man on earth and I the last woman, what would you say to win my heart?” The other candidates gave the usual clichés. I can’t recollect any except that they were all quite ho-hum. So won’t attempt repeating them. Then it was the turn of the visually impaired candidate. And his answer left no scope for any of the others. A true classic that will forever resound in my mind, “Maria, the future of the whole world depends on you.”